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Saturday, July 23, 2022

Bear with me while I tell you about one of my very old cases. I promise you that I will connect the dots to the present. The names of of the parties have been changed to maintain confidentiality. However, the Judge in the case was Lou Weissing, long gone to that great courtroom in the sky..


Lou Weissing was a good ole southern boy. He would have been the first one to tell you that he was no great intellect, but he had a lot of common sense and got to the right result most of the time. He could be stubborn. He once ruled against me on a question of law. I told him he was wrong and he told me, ”That is why they have appellate courts”. I appealed, I won, and to his credit, he did not hold a grudge and I do not think he ever ruled against me again. Not all judges are like that.


Now to the case. It was a custody case long before there was shared parental responsibility. At issue was the custody of a little boy about six. He would either live with his Father in Florida, or with the Mother, my client, in upper New York State.


The Father was an ex-priest who left the priesthood, went to medical school in the Midwest. When he graduated from med school, he took the child to South Florida and moved in with his parents, who had a really nice home.


The Mother went back home to New York and when she was sued for divorce and for custody, she hired me by telephone. She was what was then called a beatnik. She was a free spirit who smoked grass and took her child to the park in the rain to play.


I was a very young lawyer with a lot of time. My opposing counsel mocked me for not surrendering. After all, on paper, his client had every going for him. I deposed the Father’s parents in their home. It was beautifully furnished with pristine white carpet. I ran a background check on the Father, and found that he left a lot of bills unpaid when he left school. I got certified copies of the judgments entered against him.


I did not even meet my client in person until shortly before the trial. She had to be evaluated by the court-appointed expert. When I asked her how it went, she said he spent most of the time trying to fuck me”. The doctor recommended the Father have custody. To say I was a long shot is an understatement, but my instincts were that my free spirited client would be better for this little boy.


We tried the case for thee days and finished about 2 am the last day. Judge Weissing instructed us to be back in court at 11 a.m. and he would announce his decision.


When we returned, the Judge started by saying that he had sent people to the electric chair with less thought than he had given this case. He looked at the Father and said, “Two things have stuck in my mind. First, I don’t like people who don’t pay their bills. Second, little boys make messes and I don’t like the idea of his growing up in a house with a white carpet."


Then, he looked at my client and said, “Do you think you can make your little boy happy?” She looked back and without hesitating said, “Judge, he will be as happy as a pig in shit”.

The judge then announced that the Mother was awarded custody, and said “Doctor, have your son ready with all his things by 4 p.m. so he can be picked up by his Mother and go back where he belongs”.


The Judge turned out to be absolutely right. We constantly chased the Father for his child support and he turned out to be a lousy Father. The child did well and my client did well. Part of my fee was a naked picture of her taken in the woods somewhere in the North. What a great experience all around.

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Why did I tell this story? Because what lawyer would have ever thought that the result of a hotly contested custody suit would have turned on a white carpet and the non-payment of bills when in school?


One never knows what arguments hit home. Many of my readers criticize something a witness said. That is okay, and often the response could be “I am not talking to you”.

That is why I make every argument I can think of. As a general rule, I like to make my best argument first and my second best last while also rewording my first point. In between, I make every argument I have.


I did not like Pottinger giving Trump credit for anything, but my bet is that his credibility rose with some Republicans who will give much more weight to the witness’ conclusion that this time Trump was wrong.


I had no idea that a white carpet would win my case. We will have no idea what particular thing Trump said or did that will finally bury him. Throw everything against the wall and, hopefully, something will stick.

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Bannon was convicted on both counts. Sentencing not until October. Whatever the sentence, I hope that for whatever the term, we do not have to listen to his chatter. I might as well go to the zoo, stand in front of the monkey cage, and listen to the monkeys chatter.

Of course, what kind of schmuck, after being found guilty, but before being sentenced, gives a press conference threatening, among others, the Attorney General and the President?

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I did well at the doctor’s subject to the results of blood tests. Dropped one medication, increased another and have to go back in two weeks to see how adjustments worked. I am doing well overall and like my doctor and his staff a lot. Not fun doing all the tests, particularly because I had to wear a mask.

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Marlins took a big hit with Chisholm who is now out for at least another six weeks. Upside is that likelihood he is traded has decreased.


The team came off three schneid Friday night. They scored a run to end the shutout streak, they hit a home run for the first time since the Emancipation Proclamation, and they won a game.

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For those in Broward County, I repeat my endorsement of Lauren Alperstein for Circuit Judge. We need more judges who do not pass muster with Governor DeSantis.

As a general rule, I prefer not to elect judges, but this is an exception. Remember, what comes out of the bottom of a funnel is a function of what goes in the top.

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Toronto scored 28 runs on 29 hits against the Red Sox. That is more runs than the Marlins scored in several weeks.

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If I gave you a thousand guesses, maybe several thousand, you would not guess what music I listened to last night before retiring. I listened to Marty Robbins and Roy Acuff taking turns singing really good country music songs. The talent in and around Nashville over the last several decades is really mind-boggling fun.

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Light bulbs are finally beginning to go on where it comes to our Secret Service. My bet is any half-decent lawyer smelled a huge rat almost immediately, if not sooner, but it took the media way longer than it should have.


And something should be noted about the White House photographer being forbidden from taking any pictures while Trump was enjoying the riots in the dining room.


Seriously, how many of you could predict the moral decay that is being discovered almost by the hour? It would not be surprising to see more bombshells uncovered. Trump, as evil and devious as he is, could not hatch all these nefarious schemes all by himself.

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July 30 is Democracy Day. If you know nothing about it, find out. My Wife is heavily involved.


Not sure why this joke came to me as I was finishing this post. “Husband says: my Wife says I do not listen to her -- at least, that’s what I think she says.”.


Go Ukraine and vote as if your life depended upon it.



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